My Green Thumb

Alright, so I cannot officially confirm that my thumb is green... I guess I am just making a whole hearted attempt to turn it that way. I think I mentioned in a previous post that one of the ways I cope with the emotional aspect of infertility is keeping my brain active. Well, I was looking forward to and dreading the month of May. Dreading, because almost a year ago in August when we started trying I had dreams and images of  May Baby. That was our goal, late spring early summer to welcome the arrival of a new family member. So, when May started to turn the corner I knew I was going to need big projects to keep me from slumping into a depression.

Just a little back story, I have suffered on and off from depression since I was a teenager. Mostly genetic I started with therapy shortly before high school, that was successful for a few years until I continued spiraling downward. I barely wanted to eat, I was constantly short with my friends and family. I will never forget an outburst of mine where I was so angry with my mother I took the batteries out of all the house phones and locked them in her bedroom. Now, to some of you this is mild, but for me it was huge. It was a sign that therapy was not going to cut it on it's own. That's when I started taking medication. Which made a huge difference in me. Well, I stayed on them until Molly was born and was successfully able to wean myself off after her arrival. So far, I haven't gotten to the point of needing medicine again, but I am always conscious of when my mind starts to slip that way.

So, with the installation of our fence last week, and our shed went up yesterday, I am ready for my gardens! When we bought our house it only came with two existing gardens, and two large obnoxious shrubs. We spent the first three months renovating the inside and ran out of money when we got to the outside. That was ok, I just stuck with the small garden I had in the front. I was also lost as to what to do with the backyard because of a lack of boundaries in the yard. Clearly, I would have to wait for a fence to garden back there. With all the set-backs and delays surrounding our fence it only made me even more antsy to finally get out there and dig up the yard.

So far I have one garden pretty much how I like it, and have plans for extending that one and adding three more. Ideally the goal is to eliminate any areas that technically require a weed-whacker. Since we don't currently own one, I just get as close as I can with the lawn mower and then cringe at the foot high grass growing up the side of the house and fence. You'd think a weed whacker would be cheaper, but this is more fun! I have a little over a week before we leave on our annual beach trip, I am hoping to get most of those gardens started before then. Wish me luck! Will plan to update again after the beach. :)