That seems to be the theme this summer. Summer is about half way done and I think I have spoken to and visited more doctors in this short time frame then the average person does in a year. And I'm exhausted. Having to repeat my medical history, list current medications, and numerous blood draws. I feel like lately I am at a breaking point all the time. Part of me screaming "I'm done!" the other part still clinging to hope that there is a light at the end of this tunnel. Infertility is definitely something I would not wish on my worst enemies. Ok... Maybe a few... But you would really have to piss me off first.
I have found a few things to be excited about the last few weeks. I had my HSG scan done shortly after my last blog post and it was not only a breeze, it also showed no signs of blockage. Which was excellent news. I also got copies of the images they took, who doesn't want a 12" x 20" image of there own uterus. I know I will have a few jealous readers once they find out I have those pictures and they don't!! Mike also passed his Jizz quiz. Which is of course great for him, mildly upsetting for him. I had secretly hoped that there would be something abnormal about his test. Would make it feel like all of the infertility problems were no coming from me. All of our blood work came back normal, and the genetic testing I had done showed I am not a carrier for any of the 13 disorders they tested for. Which is a relief. I have a phone appointment with our fertility specialist on Monday, will know more about what direction our treatment is taking after I speak to him.
I was pleasantly surprised when my period arrived this morning. Surprised for two reasons, the timing shows that I have returned to an almost "normal" cycle with just the assistance of Metformin. Surprised also because my self ovulation testing showed that I did in fact ovulate this month, around the 26th of June. So then of course my emotional(and bloated self) realized that even though I ovulated I still failed to get(or stay) pregnant. Great, now just one more problem to add to the already growing list. I will of course be discussing this with the doc on Monday.
I really did sit down to write and try to focus on the positives in life lately. It's a recent goal, helps me realize my life is complete with or without another child. I do owe a lot of my recent laughs to my dear husband. He sure is a wonderful light in my life. I also have my gorgeous daughter to be thankful for. She has recently taken a real interest in coloring, I can only hope this is going to steer her into an interest in the arts. Maybe I will make a point of painting with her soon. I am also still obsessed with my dog as well as my gardening. The dog currently occupies the background on my phone, I claim that since Molly has had such a long run as the background it was time to give one of our other children the chance at a turn. Mike of course went and set his as a picture of the rats, not wanting them to feel left out. I have managed to keep everything alive in all of my gardens so far, even with the dreadful heat wave we have been having. If they put any sort of water restrictions on us they might be SOL though...
And just because I feel everyone should read this...
http://www.resolve.org/support-and-services/for-family--friends/infertility-etiquette.html
Until my next post... : )
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